But I’m not. Watching people play drinking games. There are people in an adjacent apartment waving and yelling at us. 90s music. My husband graduated from college today. So what now? The man who sold me coffee at quicktrip graduated from Rockherst 2years ago. I doubt he majored in gas station science. I have a job in my feild. My useless fine arts degree. I’d like to do more than survive I’d like to rub it in a few choice faces. All through the ceremony they talked about how committed to their students. I don’t buy it. They said I should be a theatre critic. Later I found out it was because they didn’t know I was capable of much else. Well fuck you too. They also said I couldn’t make it through grad school. They could be right. Maybe I’ll never know. So what now? More school? More work? More pills? They don’t know me. I could do it all if I knew where to start.
But I’m at a disadvantage. I lost some years to the dark. Time to catch up. Where do I start? The light is a little dizzying. Don’t look down. Can’t look up. Look forward.
“I’m the one that gets away I’m a Missouri success story and they’ll say just give me a chance to shake that hand”
“The years keep coming and they don’t stop coming bend to the rules and I hit the ground running”
“Every now and then I kick the living shit out of me.”
Man, 90s music gets me.
From the conversation going on I’m surprised there aren’t more children stuck in more car grills.
We’ll see. You’ll see. They’ll see.
The heart the ego the identity don’t agree. They must battle to the death. TO THE DEATH.
Ambivalence is my M.O.
Let’s rock this shit.