Aquatic Theatrical Trash

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In the booth
At a show
RJ handed me some trash
And when the curtain fell
It was still clenched in my fist
He says “You see? That’s her way
She’ll hold a scrap of trash all day”
I’d never even realized
I’m so bad at letting go.

Down with the ship
Though I’m not the captain
The show must go on
And sometimes shit happens
Break all your legs
As you trip on the foot lights
Fall into the pit
Crush the cellist
The maestro
Play on my darlings
While the water is rising
Choking on brine and crescendos

I can’t hope to swim
While I’m holding his garbage
I can’t even float
Weighed down by my baggage
So I said with a wink and a smile
“That explains everything. All my friends, all my exes, all my homes and my hopes. My love and my scars. Take it back. I dont want it”
He says “why don’t you just throw it away?”

If only.

If only.

If only I could leap from the ship
Abandon the captain
Call of the show
Let it not happen
Out through the stagedoor
My legs moving faster
Into the sunlight
(It’s blinding. It’s blinding)
Swim to the storm drain
Where I’ll meet the cellist
We’ll kiss and we’ll sing
The maestro will curse us
We won’t hear a thing
And we will play on
Because we survived
And we will play on
Because we’re alive
Choking on laughter and wine

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