My Arm Pits (and other things that are totally your business)

Every time one of those articles goes around about women that decide not to shave their arm pits I inevitably weigh in on it. At first I didn’t because I didn’t like trying to explain myself and I didn’t like people telling me I was gross. Which, side note: people only tell you your gross on the internet. No one outside of my immediate family has ever looked me in the eye (under my blue eyebrows, between my drawn on eyelashes) and said “you’re gross.”

Let me just say: I don’t shave anything. I think I might still own a razor. It’s probably lurking in the bottom of a box or drawer waiting to exact its revenge on whichever hapless finger runs across it as I grope around for um…. Probably ferret shampoo.

I don’t shave my lady parts because it makes me feel like a child. I’m 4’11” and sans pubic hair (especially before the birth of my daughter when my boobs swoll 2 cup sizes) the girl I saw in the mirror did not seem like she should be sexually active, because she looked 14.

I don’t shave my legs because through some miracle of genetics I really don’t need to. Thanks genes!

I don’t shave my armpits. Some people assume this makes me a crazy man hating feminazi. However, I love make up. I love dresses. I love heels. I like to be looked at. I’m not above batting my eyelashes to get things I need. Usually food, especially in college.

And to everyone who still thinks it’s gross that I don’t shave my pits: no one ever notices and I live in tank tops.

For a long time I just told people I was lazy. Then while I was meticulously drawing on my eyelashes I thought “Nope, not lazy…. It’s something else.”

It’s this: Why would I spend that much time, effort, discomfort (it’s itchy), and money on something that is never going to be attractive. It’s an arm pit for crying out loud.

The way I figure it between what I have to say, my eyes, lips, and (let’s be honest) my boobs if you’re looking at my arm pits I’m doing something wrong or there’s something wrong with you.


One thought on “My Arm Pits (and other things that are totally your business)

  1. 1. I love your self description!
    2. I also love you you pointed out you used to lie about it then learned to come out with the real reasons. A lot of females, I’ve noticed, when writing posts like this talk as though they always knew the answer. It feels very real and although it was short it was a great pleasure to read!

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