Reader’s Choice

I recently asked my Facebook friends what some good topics for posts might be.

This is what they said
1. Ferrets
2. Anxiety / Depression
3. My near Homunculus stature
4. Dogs
5. Sewing
6. Make-up
7. Amanda Palmer and her bad assness
8. Why all the awesome girls are dating assholes.
9. Why America is so commercialized
10. Why there is so much more violence these days.
11. Small Victories
12. Things I find encouraging
13. Something about people getting tackled at Walmart for carrying guns (I’m going to have to look that up)
14. Living with invisible chronic illnesses.
15. Rainbows.

OK, so obviously some of those can be lumped together. Some of them have fairly straight forward answers. Some of them require more thought and vulnerability on my part.

So let’s start with an easy one.

Ferrets

image

This is a domestic ferret which is not a rodent.  Domestic ferrets should not be confused with the black footed ferret, a north American weasel near extinction that mostly eat prairie dogs. They are not rodents either; opposed to prairie dogs which are. Domestic ferrets are more closely related to skunks than to rodents (skunks are not rodents either). If you are confused about what rodents are go Google it.

You were expecting a link? That’s lazy of you.  Google it yourself. I’ll wait.

Good!  You’re back. I was disturbed to find that when I Googled “ferret” looking for the above picture, the top 5 news articles were about a ferret mauling a baby’s face off in Pennsylvania.  I was delighted to read the parents were being charged, although, I doubt that saved the ferret or unmauled the baby.

Poorly trained ferrets can and will bite but in my 11 years and 5 ferrets of experience I’ve never had one draw blood. That still doesn’t mean I would ever ever ever leave my ferrets alone with my infant. 

Ferrets, for those who have never met one, have 2 settings: sleeping and a bizarre amalgamation of a toddler and a kitten after it’s 4th consecutive shot of espresso. They appear to be made of rubber, slinkies, and wrapped in fur.  You can’t not laugh at them.

That’s why I, a person with depression, keep them around. They’re at times better than Zoloft, which is precisely why one of my ferrets’ name is Zoe.

Well that’s all I’ve got time for, but trust me, I’ll get to the rest of them.

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Reader’s Choice

I recently asked my Facebook friends what some good topics for posts might be.

This is what they said
1. Ferrets
2. Anxiety / Depression
3. My near Homunculus stature
4. Dogs
5. Sewing
6. Make-up
7. Amanda Palmer and her bad assness
8. Why all the awesome girls are dating assholes.
9. Why America is so commercialized
10. Why there is so much more violence these days.
11. Small Victories
12. Things I find encouraging
13. Something about people getting tackled at Walmart for carrying guns (I’m going to have to look that up)
14. Living with invisible chronic illnesses.
15. Rainbows.

OK, so obviously some of those can be lumped together. Some of them have fairly straight forward answers. Some of them require more thought and vulnerability on my part.

So let’s start with an easy one.

Ferrets

image

This is a domestic ferret which is not a rodent.  Domestic ferrets should not be confused with the black footed ferret, a north American weasel near extinction that mostly eat prairie dogs. They are not rodents either; opposed to prairie dogs which are. Domestic ferrets are more closely related to skunks than to rodents (skunks are not rodents either). If you are confused about what rodents are go Google it.

You were expecting a link? That’s lazy of you.  Google it yourself. I’ll wait.

Good!  You’re back. I was disturbed to find that when I Googled “ferret” looking for the above picture, the top 5 news articles were about a ferret mauling a baby’s face off in Pennsylvania.  I was delighted to read the parents were being charged, although, I doubt that saved the ferret or unmauled the baby.

Poorly trained ferrets can and will bite but in my 11 years and 5 ferrets of experience I’ve never had one draw blood. That still doesn’t mean I would ever ever ever leave my ferrets alone with my infant. 

Ferrets, for those who have never met one, have 2 settings: sleeping and a bizarre amalgamation of a toddler and a kitten after it’s 4th consecutive shot of espresso. They appear to be made of rubber, slinkies, and wrapped in fur.  You can’t not laugh at them.

That’s why I, a person with depression, keep them around. They’re at times better than Zoloft, which is precisely why one of my ferrets* name is Zoe.

Well that’s all I’ve got time for, but trust me, I’ll get to the rest of them.

My Arm Pits (and other things that are totally your business)

Every time one of those articles goes around about women that decide not to shave their arm pits I inevitably weigh in on it. At first I didn’t because I didn’t like trying to explain myself and I didn’t like people telling me I was gross. Which, side note: people only tell you your gross on the internet. No one outside of my immediate family has ever looked me in the eye (under my blue eyebrows, between my drawn on eyelashes) and said “you’re gross.”

Let me just say: I don’t shave anything. I think I might still own a razor. It’s probably lurking in the bottom of a box or drawer waiting to exact its revenge on whichever hapless finger runs across it as I grope around for um…. Probably ferret shampoo.

I don’t shave my lady parts because it makes me feel like a child. I’m 4’11” and sans pubic hair (especially before the birth of my daughter when my boobs swoll 2 cup sizes) the girl I saw in the mirror did not seem like she should be sexually active, because she looked 14.

I don’t shave my legs because through some miracle of genetics I really don’t need to. Thanks genes!

I don’t shave my armpits. Some people assume this makes me a crazy man hating feminazi. However, I love make up. I love dresses. I love heels. I like to be looked at. I’m not above batting my eyelashes to get things I need. Usually food, especially in college.

And to everyone who still thinks it’s gross that I don’t shave my pits: no one ever notices and I live in tank tops.

For a long time I just told people I was lazy. Then while I was meticulously drawing on my eyelashes I thought “Nope, not lazy…. It’s something else.”

It’s this: Why would I spend that much time, effort, discomfort (it’s itchy), and money on something that is never going to be attractive. It’s an arm pit for crying out loud.

The way I figure it between what I have to say, my eyes, lips, and (let’s be honest) my boobs if you’re looking at my arm pits I’m doing something wrong or there’s something wrong with you.

My Arm Pits (and other things that are totally your business)

Every time one of those articles goes around about women that decide not to shave their arm pits I inevitably weigh in on it.  At first I didn’t because I didn’t like trying to explain myself and I didn’t like people telling me I was gross.  Which, side note: people only tell you your gross on the internet. No one outside of my immediate family has ever looked me in the eye (under my blue eyebrows, between my drawn on eyelashes) and said “you’re gross.”

Let me just say: I don’t shave anything.  I think I might still own a razor.  It’s  probably lurking in the bottom of a box or drawer waiting to exact its revenge on whichever hapless finger runs across it as I grope around for um…. Probably ferret shampoo. 

I don’t shave my lady parts because it makes me feel like a child. I’m 4’11” and sans pubic hair (especially before the birth of my daughter when my boobs swoll 2 cup sizes)  the girl I saw in the mirror did not seem like she should be sexually active, because she looked 14.

I don’t shave my legs because through some miracle of genetics I really don’t need to.  Thanks genes!

I don’t shave my armpits.  Some people assume this makes me a crazy man hating feminazi. However, I love make up. I love dresses.  I love heels.  I like to be looked at. I’m not above batting my eyelashes to get things I need.  Usually food, especially in college.

And to everyone who still thinks it’s gross that I don’t shave my pits: no one ever notices and I live in tank tops.

For a long time I just told people I was lazy.  Then while I was meticulously drawing on my eyelashes I thought “Nope,  not lazy…. It’s something else.”

It’s this: Why would I spend that much time, effort, discomfort (it’s itchy), and money on something that is never going to be attractive.  It’s an arm pit for crying out loud.

The way I figure it between what I have to say,  my eyes, lips,  and (let’s be honest) my boobs if you’re looking at my arm pits I’m doing something wrong or there’s something wrong with you. 

image

See how super noticeable it isn’t

Somebody Told Me (a job hunting parody)

Sing it to the tune of Somebody Told Me by The Killers

Breaking my back just to find an in
Twelve interviews and I’ve had it with this game
I’m breaking my back just to find an in
But employment ain’t close in a place like this
My resume shows I’m under qualified
Cause employment ain’t close in a place like this
I said employment ain’t close in a place like this
Hire me please, hire me please tonight
Never thought I’d be applying at The Gap

Well somebody told me
You had an opening
That I might be good for
Here’s all the places I’ve worked in the last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential!

Ready? Let’s roll here’s my CV
Unemployments taking its toll and I’m living on Mac N Cheese
I’m ready, let’s roll here’s my references
‘Cause employment ain’t close in a place like this
I said employment ain’t close in a place like this
Hire me please, hire me please tonight
Never thought I’d waste my bachelor’s working at quick trip

Well somebody told me
You had an opening
That I’m qualified for
I graduated on May tenth of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential
A rushin’, a rushin’ around

Interview me
I said maybe baby please
But I just don’t know now
When all I wanna do is try

Somebody told me
That you were hiring
People to dig holes
I’ll do anything at this point
It’s not secret
I’ve gotten desperate
A rushin’, a rushin’ around

Why I don’t have health insurance

When I was young my mother told me that I must never let my insurance coverage lapse. She explained that my pre-existing condition (asthma) would mean that no one would cover me. 

When I was 18 my father lost his job of 18 years. My parents paid for my insurance out of pocket until I turned 20 when it inexplicably leapt from $90 a month to $240.

I was unemployed. My father was unemployed. There went my health insurance and thus began my decent into crippling medical debt.

Fast forward a few years. Most of my friends get to get back into their parents insurance. My parents don’t HAVE insurance. The insurance companies can’t deny you because of your pre-existing conditions…but they can still make it impossibly expensive.

I worked my way through college at multiple seasonal jobs. Which don’t offer insurance.

Fast forward again. I get my first non seasonal full time job. Which doesn’t offer health insurance because they are a “small business”. My degree is in theatre. The odds of me ever working for a big business are slim.

Fast forward 2 more years. I get pregnant and apply for Medicaid. I’m denied because our house hold income is too high.  The pregnancy is really hard with my now multiple pre-existing conditions and I can only work 20 hours a week. My husband only works about 30. We are below the poverty line and somehow still supposed to be able to afford health insurance.

So I get on the healthcare.gov website and fill out all their forms. At the end they tell me that I might qualify for Medicaid so they’re forwarding my information to the people that rejected me earlier this week.

So that’s why I don’t have health insurance and am $9000 in medical debt which I’m sure will double or triple by the end of this pregnacy.

I take solace in the fact that they can’t repossess my baby and that I don’t own anything worth anything.

Why Being Really Pissed Off Can’t Help

The whole world is in a funk.  The Man is keeping us down and it isn’t our fault the system is broken so the only thing to do is…apparently get really pissed off.   That seems to be the running theme since Occupy Wall Street started.  Get really pissed off.  Minimum wage isn’t high enough? Get pissed off!  Health insurance is too expensive? Get pissed off!  Government listening to your phone calls? Get pissed off!

The Pissed Off People say they are just raising awareness but I’m pretty sure everyone is aware at this point.  Lack of awareness isn’t the problem here.  It’s lack of caring.

The people on top do not care about the people on the bottom and I’m pretty sure that being really pissed off at them isn’t going to make them care.  Think about it. Why would anyone want to help a group of people that are rabidly angry at them?

Imagine you’re walking through a parking lot and a homeless person runs up to you screaming “Damn you! You’re the reason I have to live in a box by the river because of people like you! Driving around in your car! Having a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in!  Buying GROCERIES! I don’t have any GROCERIES! I don’t even have a REFRIGERATOR! Fuck you! Give me some money and a sandwich NOW!”

Are you going to give that person anything or are you going to be scared, get in your car, and drive away? If you’re not afraid you’re probably at least upset that somehow this homeless person thinks their situation is your fault when you’ve never even met them before.

So why be pissed off?  Because it’s easy. It’s easy to say that this is The System’s fault and demand that they fix it. It’s easy to say that we are powerless and act accordingly.

And before people that don’t know me start saying that I don’t understand: I’m 27,000 in student debt, 9,000 in medical debt, my car doesn’t run,  I haven’t had health insurance for 7 years, I have several pre existing medical conditions and take medication daily.  I get it. 

But I also know that for every country in the world that has better government funded programs than we do there are five where 80% of the population has AIDS and there are flies crawling on newborns and minimum wage isn’t even a thing. 

I realize that since so many people are in this boat together that eventually things will get better.

I understand that while having student debt isn’t ideal no one can take my education away from me.

I appreciate that even though medical debt is terrible, at least I’m alive.

And I know that anger is toxic.

“Holding onto anger is like holding onto a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

“People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining” – Stephen Hawking

“The Opposite of Anger is Not Calmness; It Is Empathy” –Mehmet Oz

Most homeless people know this already. That’s why their signs say things like “Homeless Vet. God Bless.” 

I’m not saying I have the answers but maybe if we spent more time projecting compassion and humanity into the universe maybe people that don’t understand would be more likely to.  If they understand, they are more likely to care.  If they care, they are more likely to help. 

Even if they don’t it will be a more pleasant existence for you and me and everyone else and together maybe we can find the answers and make the change.